I was in bed. I couldn’t move. Scary visions played in my head.
I was in my room, composing a blog post on my laptop about how much I love the Holy Spirit. I was working on the last paragraph when I began questioning everything I typed.
How did you know He’s real? What if it was just your imagination? Perhaps a mere coincidence or delusion?
It was clearly an attack from the enemy, using my skepticism to his advantage. He was trying to shake my faith. I immediately called a friend and asked if we could pray together. I felt God’s comfort immediately and managed to publish the blog.
Something amazing happened that day and I knew it was God’s doing. I was eager to blog about it, but I couldn’t find the words. Okay, writer’s block, I thought. I’d blog about it some other time. I didn’t even get to start. Not one sentence.
I read 1 Kings 2: 1-25 before going to bed. The chapter started with David leaving instructions to Solomon, who was to succeed him as king. After David’s death, Adonijah (fourth son of David, half-brother of Solomon) came to Bathsheba (mother of Solomon) to make a request. He asked Bathsheba to speak to Solomon, on his behalf, that he may have Abishag as his wife. Solomon, upon hearing this request, immediately recognized Adonijah’s attempt to usurp the throne and put him to death.
I should have seen it as a warning.
After reading the bible and completing my daily journal, I turned the lights off and closed my eyes. However, I couldn’t sleep. For some reason, I felt scared. Blasphemous images and sinful thoughts started filling my head. I tried to just push them out, but the effort was futile. So I prayed. After much struggle, God made me fall asleep.
I was lead to read the Book of Philemon. It was short and encouraging. One chapter, 25 verses.
While in prison, Paul wrote to Philemon pleading, out of love, for Onesimus. Onesimus was Philemon’s runaway slave, who stole from him. At some point, Onesimus met Paul, who shared Christ with him. So, Paul was asking Philemon to receive Onesimus once again, this time as a brother in Christ instead of a slave. From slave to son/brother, amazing life story.
I closed my bible and went to bed. To be honest, I was scared to shut my eyes. I was already expecting another attack from the enemy. Sure enough, the enemy hit me again. I felt very much like a prisoner and a slave. It was worse than the previous evening. The visions were more vile this time. The entire night was pure torture. At midnight, I fell asleep. Minutes later, I was awake again shaking from a terrible dream. I prayed and forced myself to fall asleep. But it happened again. Another nightmare. I was trembling and extremely afraid. I decided to sleep beside my mum and just prayed over and over.
The next thing I knew, it was morning. I felt so thankful.
This it it, Lord. Apart from you, I am nothing. I am surrendering everything to You. It’s all in Your Mighty Hands now. I am trusting You fully to save me from the enemy. There’s no way I’d be able to do this on my own.
That was my prayer. I opened my bible and He gave me His Word.
Then, I said to you, “Do not be terrified; do not be afraid of them. The Lord your God, who is going before you, will fight for you, as He did for you in Egypt, before your very eyes, and in the desert. There you saw how the Lord your God carried you, as a father carries his son, all the way you went until you reached this place. In spite of this, you did not trust in the Lord your God, who went ahead of you on your journey, in fire by night and in a cloud by day, to search out places for you to camp and to show you the way you should go. (Deuteronomy 1: 29-33)
I continued praying and closed my eyes. It was the best, most relaxing sleep I had all week. I woke up at around 9:30 AM the following day.
Sunday afternoon, I met with my small group for bible study and told them about what I went through. They asked why I didn’t even ask them to pray for me and with me. I didn’t have an answer. A couple of times, I did want to text them, but I held back.
I remembered, then, that the enemy will isolate a person like what he did with the demon-possessed man in Mark 5: 1-20.
I read about the Temptation of Jesus in Matthew 4: 1-11. I realized Christ used what is written in the Book of Deuteronomy to rebuke the enemy. Wow. I didn’t know know that. I made a mental note to read more Deuteronomy these coming days.
God could have prevented me from suffering oppression, but He didn’t. Because He was increasing my faith. He was teaching me a very important lesson – to only depend on Him and not on myself. In theory, I knew that. So many times, I shared to others how we should fully surrender to God. But He gave me the opportunity to put it into practice. He also reminded me of the importance of fellowship with other believers. And the power in the Name of Jesus.
Truly, I was humbled by the entire ordeal. I was too busy being scared that I lost my focus on Him. I forgot everything I learned, I forgot who He is in my life. He is sovereign, He is in control. He goes before me and fights the battle for me.
The spiritual war rages on, but Victory is Yours, Lord God.
Thank You. Thank You. Thank You.
Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. (Ephesians 6: 13-17)